A Question Of Ego: Who Am I If Not Ego?

If the Ego's greatest act of deception is to get oneself to believe that the Ego is who we are, then who are we?

Stated another way:

If I am not who I think I am, then who am I?

Good question. It is a matter of perspective. Ego is the mistaken perspective that we are an independently existing, singular self. We actually are a collection of experiences loosely tied together. All these experiences depend on a large number of causes and conditions. In truth, the ego is an illusion; there is no singular, separately existing, independent self.

Following is an image of the Buddhist deity Manjushri. Manjushri has the ability to see the nature of reality as it is. Manjushri is seen holding the flaming sword of Discriminating Wisdom with his right hand and a book called Prajñāpāramitā with his left hand. Prajñāpāramitā in Buddhism, means "the Perfection of (Transcendent) Wisdom." The word Prajñāpāramitā combines the Sanskrit words prajñā ("wisdom") with pāramitā ("perfection"). The Prajñāpāramitā sūtras suggest that all things including oneself, appear as thoughtforms (conceptual constructs).

Our stream of consciousness is composed of five senses, feelings/emotions, and higher intellect/reasoning. What we perceive becomes the reality of ego and ego is at the center of all this experience. One moment we are focused on listening to music, the next moment we feel a chill, the next moment is lost in a memory, the next moment the cat catches our eye, etc. From this stream of discontinuous experiences that involve various different perceptions and mental events we deduce that an ego or self exists. We feel that a separately existing self resides at the center of these perceptual/mental events. 

We experience the illusion of "self-awareness" in the midst of a seemingly objectively existing external world. We feel as if we are separate from others and an entire universe of separately existing objects, as small as atoms and as large as galaxies. The truth is that all things are temporary and inter-dependently existing. No-thing exists separate from any other thing. There is no external, objective reality. There are no separate, independently existing "selves" at all. There are no separately existing things at all. 

CAUTION: this is not the same as nihilism. This is not a negation of existence. This is a reinterpretation of our knowledge gained through experience. We are simply arriving at a greater truth derived from higher order reasoning. 

The truth is that existence is a collection of experiences tied loosely together. Reality is consciousness only. The mystery of the nature of human consciousness is revealed through meditation on the temporary nature of all things and the truth of selflessness. The Buddhists call this sunyata or emptiness. That is, experience is in actuality empty of separate, independently existing things and consciousness is empty of a self. 

No self is required to explain phenomena. Occam's Razor states that among competing hypotheses, the hypothesis with the fewest assumptions should be selected. The assumption of the existence of a self is unnecessary and should be discarded due to succinct reasoning.

We go through life in a fairly successful manner and make okay decisions even while under the false assumption based on the existence of an ego. We go through challenges, illness, periods of doubt, depression, pain and even mental anguish. Eventually we get to the end of our life and wonder what it was all about. Of course, waiting until we die to face the meaning of life is not the best strategy. Having to face death while clinging to an ego results in fear and mental anguish is not a good way to go.

If we are blessed with curiosity, a sense of wonder, or a sharp intellect, then we may explore alternative explanations for life's experiences even before we are faced with illness, pain and death. During moments of introspection and philosophical query we question the nature of what we are. The person seeking answers to life's mysteries may find that we exist on a wholly different level of reality than what is commonly held as actual reality.

To seek truth and meaning while facing the challenges of mundane existence is a spiritual warrior's path. It is a very difficult path, but it ultimately yields the greatest rewards. The spiritual warrior focuses the mind inward and sharpens their mental focus and inner calm. The spiritual warrior wields the flaming sword of Discriminating Wisdom to cut down falsely held beliefs, dispel the illusion of ego and clear a path to greater happiness and peace of mind.

A Song By Gampopa

I offer you the following song by the Tibetan Buddhist saint Gampopa. Gampopa lived in Tibet from 1079-1153. Gampopa founded the monastic tradition of the Kagyupa, which is the lineage of my teacher. My teacher, the venerable Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche, has written a book on the teachings of Gampopa called Instructions of Gampopa. He is the abbot of Karma Triyana Dharmachakra Buddhist monastery in Woodstock, NY.

Gampopa sang:

I sing a song from the dharmadhatu of great bliss.
I speak these words in the state of wisdom,
Thus resolving the truth of nonduality.

This compassion that is free from attachment and that benefits others --
Seize firmly as supreme upaya.

This coemergent consciousness --
Seize firmly as wisdom.
When uncertainty arises, that is it.

These discursive thoughts of fixation --
Seize firmly as dharmakaya.
When one experiences this, the essence is seen.

Sights and sounds, the habitual patterns of labeling --
Seize firmly as ultimate truth.
When uncertainty arises, that is it.

These discursive thoughts are the birth of fixation.
When one has mastered this, the truth is seen.

If one desires to realize the truth of this,
Practice continuously, like a river.
Rest loosely, without further fabrications.
Rest naturally without seeking further.
Rest easily without thinking.

Experience and realization are one.
When realization is uninterrupted, that is it.
When it is as limitless as space, that is it.
When one sees one's mind as Buddha, that is it.

Now, I may have realized the true dharmata.
Fixation may have been self-liberated.
Without thinking, I may have spontaneously achieved realization.

This is not ordinary, and is not for the ordinary.
This cannot be understood by great learning.
This cannot be known by great knowledge.
This is not for the labeling of discursive thought.

I remain on the path of blessings.
I attend to the words of the guru.
It is the faithful who achieve realization.
Is your realization like this, all you great meditators?
This should not be told to everyone.

You might find the following definitions helpful when reading the poem:

• Dharmadhatu - "realm of dharma", the true nature that permeates and encompasses phenomena. As a space or realm, then, the realm of dharmas is the uncaused and immutable totality in which all phenomena arise, dwell, and pass away.
• Dharmakaya = "body of the great order", the true nature of the Buddha, which is identical with transcendental reality, the essence of the universe. The dharmakaya is the unity of the Buddha with everything existing.
• Dharmata = "nature of the dharmas", the essence that is the basis of everything. Synonymous with Buddha-nature. Dharma = the cosmic law, the great "norm," underlying our world; above all, the law of karmically determined birth.
• Upaya = "skillful means or methods", upaya is the activity of the absolute in the phenomenal world, which manifests as compassion. From the standpoint of enlightened understanding, individual beings are not perceived as suffering, since nothing exists other than the dharmakaya, the absolute. However, when regarding the universe from the point of view of compassion, enlightened beings recognize suffering, which arises from attachment to forms, everywhere. In order to liberate beings from their suffering-ridden state, enlightened beings (boddhisattvas) devise all possible means (upaya) helpful toward the attainment of nirvana. These are supported by the limitless compassion of the dharmakaya.